Today was D-Day. The first day of the rest of my life. Well, the first day of a very challenging 10 weeks anyway. Today was orientation for the Ultimate Bodyshaping Challenge. I was nervous all day leading up to the 6 o'clock meeting. I packed my bag, deciding what I was going to wear for my dreaded "before" picture. I decided on my grey sports bra and a pair of black shorts. I was the first one there, or rather, the first one to go inside and get the ball rolling. Heather, one of the coaches, took 4 pictures-3 before shots, front, side and behind, and one head shot to display on the board in the lobby. I got my book and my hand wraps, and then went for my measurements and weight. I wasn't too upset about the measurements, since I have loosely kept track of them myself. The weigh in, however, was a bit harder to stomach. 127 lbs will be my starting weight, with a body fat percentage of 28.9%. Yep, a far cry from the 123 lbs and 24.7% my home scale stated. So, a mildly discouraging start, but I quickly reminded myself, "that's why I am here".
The rest of the evening was mostly spent talking about what the program entails, which I admit, I didn't do enough homework on to find out what I was really getting myself into. That's probably a good thing, because if I had known before jumping in with both feet, I seriously doubt I would have had the guts to sign up! I will be working out 6 days a week-kickboxing Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, and resistance bands Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday. Say it with me now, "Holy Bananas!" I knew it would be challenging, I mean, it is the Ultimate Bodyshaping Challenge, but 6 days a week? Are you serious?
I was nervous going in tonight; now, I'm downright scared! I walked out to my car after meeting with my team (which is now named "Crush and Destroy". Couldn't we have been "Happy Rainbows?") I was reeling. My mind going a mile a minute "I have to hit up the grocery store tomorrow." "How am I going to make it to 6 a.m. workouts?" "Can I really do this?" I have bitten off far more than I can chew this time; I can definitely tell that. There is also a deeper, inner voice that, though far quieter than the voice booming "what are you thinking?", is prevailing on my nerves. It's the inner voice that is quietly calling out "Wahoo!! Bring it!" I have never done anything like this before; it scares the bejeebers out of me. But I want to do it. I want to prove that I can push myself beyond anything I've pushed against before.
There is a section in my handy workbook that explains the exertion we should be feeling in our classes. In this section, it reads "a great acronym for fear is False Evidence Appearing Real." How very true these words are! I am scared because I don't know what my body can do. I have an idea of what it can do. But what is this idea based on? Only what I have done so far. I have never done any organized exercise, except for sports drills in my early high school years. I have a vision in my mind of what I want to see and what I want my "after" picture to look like. This is what is driving me now, not the fear of whether or not I can do it. I will do it. No is not an option at this point. Right now, I am already requiring more of myself by not giving into this fear. So, tomorrow morning, I will send my kids on the bus to school, and bring myself to my first kickboxing workout. I will get up every morning this week and repeat. I will do more physically than I have done before. I will listen only to the quiet voice telling me I can do this.
And it will be great!
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