Tuesday of Week 3

Halfway through week 3 already!  Where does the time go?  This is clipping by way too quickly for me.  I feel like I just started, and I'm almost halfway through already.  I'm still working hard, and starting to see some fruits of my labor.  For instance, who knew I had biceps!  That's really fabulous when I'm reaching for something and see a nice lump in my arm!  And, "girl push ups" are getting easier!  I wouldn't say I'm quite ready for "real" ones just yet, but I will be soon!  I'm starting to enjoy being sore too; not the can't move sore, but the "I've worked really hard" sore.  I can feel my body making changes too, like not being tired if I haven't moved enough during the day.  Today is not one of those days! I pushed hard at yesterday's kickboxing, definitely the hardest I've gone in a class to date (I've got the wound to prove it!), and then got up at 5:30 am to get my resistance band workout in!  WHEW!

I am a bit more reflective today than normal.  My nephew has started making his way into the world (translation, his mommy's in labor).  For me, this has been an upheaval year; one of those years that the ground I was standing on broke apart, and I have to refind my footing.  I don't think there's a part of my life that hasn't been thoroughly shaken to the core.  More than once, I felt like my world was completely breaking apart.  I've questioned everything I've ever known, everything I've ever believed in, everything I always trusted to be a part of me.  I've had to come to terms with the fact that I can't plan everything, nor can I have a plan for every possible situation.  But I don't have to have an immediate solution for every single situation or problem in my life.  Some times, it's just ok to breathe and let it be with the faith that the answers will come in time.  Lately, my mantra has become "I don't have to know right now."  There's a lot of freedom and peace in that.  It calms sleepless nights and wild thoughts.

So, as I'm waiting for that wonderful call to let me know that I can come hold my new nephew, all the trials of these past months become background thoughts for a while.  In the moment I hold that little boy, I'll be looking dead square in the face of possibility.  As the quote goes, "every baby is proof that God has not given up on man."  That includes me.